When our child questioned their sexuality in their early teens, we explained that it was part of growing up and they would come to their own conclusions. We were so proud that they felt able to share their feelings with us. Our child had a relationship with a friend and the mother’s reaction was to banish them and to tell other parents that their child would not go to parties etc. if ours did.
Our child quickly went from having hordes of friends round and lots of parties to none, literally within a couple of weeks, and then, soon after, they identified as trans. We agreed to a CAMH appointment; it was the worst decision we have ever made as they immediately led our 14-year-old to believe their life would be improved with medical transition. On top of this we found that the school had been calling our child by a different name and pronouns. We arranged meetings with the school and the school safeguarding officer said “we have to give them options.” Options don’t start with the suggestion of drastic interventions.
We went from having a child who we argued with once a year to one having utter meltdowns including with knives and pills. We don’t blame my child, we blame the doctors and the psychologists who didn’t give appropriate care to my vulnerable child. We also blame the schools and mental health professionals who went along with it.
If my child had been anorexic or taking illegal drugs the treatment, they and we would have received would have been so much different, we would have been supported. There is a huge failure in the system and it permeates throughout.
We will never trust the NHS, Schools, Safeguarding, and many people we used to call friends.
It has broken us to my core, the fact that so many people are complicit in starting a perfectly healthy child on a lifetime of medication and surgery.